MUHAYA'S 'BODOH-BODOH' A WRONG CHOICE OF WORDS

Ani (left) and Viviantie.

10 June 2021

By Ilona Andrew and Jacquline Ebit

KOTA KINABALU: Motivational speaker Prof. Dr Muhaya Mohamad's video asking women to "act stupid" to attract men could have been interpreted correctly if she had used the right words.

Ani Mohd Ridzuan who is the Managing Director of Nuvis Sabah Training and Consultancy Sdn Bhd said Muhaya's might have unintentionally used the wrong choice of words when she possibly meant that women should try to be humble when pursuing a life partner.

"The word 'stupid' can be misunderstood as we live in a community that is very complex in a world full of competitions and challenges.

"Muhaya should not use implications that would make people, especially women, feel guilt-ridden or pressured," she said when contacted by Nabalu News today.

"I am sure the professor (Muhaya) is wiser when it comes to how big of a role a woman has to play, whether as a mother, wife, daughter, and some even as employer or leader. So the usage of the words 'bodoh-bodoh' (stupid) is very wrong."

Ani also reasoned that with Muhaya's wrong choice of words, her message could have made some women feel disdained.

It is also not impossible that some men could have misinterpreted Muhaya's message and feel that they have the absolute right to treat their wives however they want," she added.

"I think Muhaya did not mean that women should be stupid in the literal form... To be honest, we women do want to be equal with men, despite the fact that there are certain situations where we have to lower down our ego (for men).

"But if we are oppressed or abused by men, we should not 'act dumb' and not seek help. Such a thing can happen to women because some of them allow themselves to be victimised because they are scared and ashamed of society.

"I am sure as a professor and motivational speaker, Muhaya should have been careful with her choice of words even though she initially meant well," she asserted.

Ani also indicated women should not rush in the matter of settling down and instead focus on equipping themselves with the right values and moralities.

"For young women out there, it is important to know your partner well instead of accepting him for his strengths only, and not his weaknesses.

"In every relationship, there needs to be responsibilities, tolerance and mutual trust. If you have yet to find the right one for you, then just go on with your usual life without having the need to be stressed."

Meanwhile, an advocate for women empowerment, Viviantie Unyil said she has watched Muhaya's video several times but still failed to see from the professor's point of view.

"As a public figure and a motivational speaker, she should be more careful and sensitive with her choice of words.

"I personally advocate for women empowerment, not to beat men, but to work together with them instead of against them," she said.

She revealed how her husband has always been empowering to her even from the time before they tied the knot and still, she respects him as the head of the family.

"We complete each other. I accept his reprimand without having the need to feel that I am the best, and vice versa. We are not a perfect couple, just like other couples, but every day we try to learn to be more empathetic."

Vivantie also called on the public not to generalise men with insecurities as she believes there are men out there fighting for success and women's right.

"Just be yourself," she tells women. "So what if you are opinionated? If the guy can't handle you then he is not the one. Even if you are not married, don't feel anything less, you are enough."